I'm a Deceiver

It may not seem like it to some, but I have hopes and dreams. They are big, thoughtful, inspiring, and artistic but I'm stuck. I want them so bad, but the lack of knowledge of what to do to reach them along with the idea of how grand they can become scare me. The idea of how great I can become scares me. This stresses me out, then I get overwhelmed and then I completely shut down and can't get out bed even if I wanted to. The funny but not so funny thing is that nothing has even happened. Yet its a vicious cycle and one that I am not willing to do what it takes to get out of because the idea of it all makes me angry that I need such help. I'm angry that this is my struggle and that waking up everyday knowing I'm me is the worst feeling I ever feel about anything. I've been trying to avoid thinking about these feelings of inadequacy but its like a flood gate and eventually it just comes out.